Change in the Winds (Zhu Ran)

[Tony Stark]

((This thread will take place one week after the assassination of Sun Liao, one day after Cloudy Conceptions, and a short time before Hustlin' and Bustlin. I don't want to miss out on this in case something bad happens to Xun in Xu Chang. I've been wanting to do this for some time, and this is the perfect chance.))




It had been six days, three hours, and eleven minutes since Sun Tzao cut down Sun Liao in cold blood. It had been 23 hours and twenty-three minutes since the conversation that had changed Lu Xun's life.

He sat in his estate, alone in a chair in the middle of his study. The room had been built by his father to ensure that no noise could reach the privacy of the man's thoughts. The chair he sat in had been built to fit his father perfectly, and although they had a similar build Xun could not have felt more uncomfortable. The stillness of his body would break almost on a timer as he squirmed to try and find the spot in the chair that his body so desired, and yet with every centimeter he moved he could feel himself growing further and further away from any sort of relaxation.

He hadn't slept since his conversation with Lu Meng. Xun had stumbled back to his home, dismissed his staff, and sat alone in the chair. His stomach churned in pain from hunger and the ill-feeling his emotions brought upon him, but Xun took the pain with all of its brunt force. He deserved it, after all, for what was a bit of stomach pain compared to what he had done to Sun Liao? Lu Xun at least felt something, whereas Sun Liao was dead in the ground, probably beginning to decompose by now.

The very thought made him squirm yet again as he tried to find the spot his father had found instantly upon entering the chairs protection. But Lu Xun was not a father, clearly evident of his actions. He had become a monster, and his actions over the course of time had caused him to become one of the most feared men in China. The people refused to look him in the eye, and he had a nagging feeling his men only followed him out of fear that he would cut them down, as he had used Tzao's hand to cut down the last remaining heir to the throne of Wu.

Of course, Xun's newfound guilt and torment had brought about a sense of paranoia. He feared the men, women and children of Wu knew what he had really done, when in truth he knew that the stories that floated about of him barely scratched the surface. How had a young man, who had shown such integrity as a child, turned into such an abomination?

Lu Xun held one of his sabres in his hands, and his eyes had been on it since he entered the study almost a full 24 hours ago. He thought about what Meng had said; what did it feel like to pierce a man's flesh? What was it like to see the life drain from a man's eyes, knowing that you were the one who caused his fall? Xun had never even spoken to Sun Liao and he was wracked with grief now that Lu Meng had opened his eyes to what Xun really was. Xun lifted the blade, admiring it in the soft moonlight that came in through the window of his secluded manor. The blade taunted him with its cleanliness, mocked him for the courage he lacked.

Xun would never be the great man he had wished to be. He knew that now. He accepted it. He accepted every fault within himself for the very first time. He accepted his humanity. He accepted the fact that he lacked the courage to even take his own life.

He had tried thrice this day, in the same chair he sat in now. Each time Xun had held the blade hard to his neck, and all he had to do was wrench the blade one way and his neck the the other. He would not die peacefully, it would probably be a painful demise, but it was no less than Xun deserved.

And yet each time, the longer he held the blade to his neck, the more he began to cry until he dropped the blade helplessly into his lap yet again. The first flesh Xun wished to split open was his own, but he did not have the strength to do it. Each time he felt a weaker man, which only strengthened his resolve to follow through with the action. The blood Xun wished to see would never spill, because Xun just didn't have it in him.

Xun let go of the blade, which tumbled from his lap to the floor with an echoing clatter. He stood with trembling knees, needing to move, needing to talk to someone who understood. But who? He had ruined any chance of a friendship with Li Wang, Tiashi Ci thought him a young fool, He deserved not to ever set foot in Lu Meng's presence again, and his own Lord was as foul as he was. Who, then?

The answer which would have been so obvious to some finally dawned on Xun's tired mind. Zhu Ran, the very man who had stood up to Sun Quan. Yifeng was possibly the only man other than Lu Xun to grieve the death of Sun Liao more than Tiashi ci himself. For both men knew the corruption and putrid lies that hid beneath the surface, a stench that Tiashi Ci would never smell. They knew that, above all else, the land they yearned to support and protect was going down, down, down deep into the pits of despair.

And they grieved more, knowing full well that they had done nothing to stop it.

Xun's eyes were puffy from tears, and his face was rough with the weight of his conscience. He looked like hell, but why should he care about his appearance? Sun Liao was dead, and Xun had no right as a human to fret over how he looked in public.

Not that it mattered anyway. The people would just avert their eyes and hope Lu Xun's presumed fury wouldn't fall down on them.

Xun exited out of his estate, leaving the door wide open. There was nothing of importance to him there. His manor was filled with trinkets and treasures worthy of a man greater than Xun. He hoped somebody would rob him, for it was again no less than he deserved.

After what had seemed like hours of wandering the silent streets of Jian Ye, Lu Xun finally happened upon the man's house. It was dark inside, darker than normal for this hour. Perhaps Zhu Ran grieved harder than Lu Xun had expected, and he only feared the worse.

Xun could barely stand as he knocked once on the door with his head. He had not the strength to lift his arms, the lack of nutrition and the weakness of his manhood taking its full toll upon his body. Lu Xun hoped his trip hadn't been for naught. Otherwise, Xun might take a trip face down through the harsh canals of the Riverlands.

[Kyle]

Zhu Yifeng's large, and more than likely, over-opulent manor was indeed dark on the eve that the young Lu Xun approached it in sheer desperation. The Prime Minister of Wu had taken to bed early, weary from his duties. It had been a week since the evil in Jiang Ling was committed, and the horror was still held by Yifeng. He had done his best to be strong throughout the week; however, he had to feign illness for the two days following his return to Jian Ye. While Yifeng certainly was ill those two days, it was for a reason he could not simply divulge. Being sick from grief after having assisted in the murder of an innocent boy was usually not a widely accept reason for, well, anything.

Aside from those two days of particular weakness, spent much like the night of the murder, Yifeng had kept himself busy -- extremely so. He had plenty of tasks at hand as the Prime Minister of a large state, but he went above and beyond. He wined and dined important men; he corresponded with Liuqiu; he did everything he could to not be alone. He would exhaust himself from the moment the terrible nightmares he had been suffering from woke him, until he passed out from total weariness.

On this eve in particular, Yifeng was sleeping a most restless sleep. Yet another nightmare plagued his subconscious mind. It was similar to all the others in that it was exactly what had happened on that macabre night; however, this one was much worse.

The pale, lifeless corpse of Sun Liao lies on the floor, surrounded by what used to be his blood. The stench of the blood is overpowers Yifeng as he walks in; he immediately feels ill. Taishi Ci remains on his chair, weeping as if he had lost his own child, weeping because of all the regrets he had.

This was the usual for the dreams he had been having, but something unexpected then occurred.

From behind Yifeng, someone approaches. As he turns to see who it is, Yifeng stomach drops; he feels as though he is going to lose consciousness. The being now before him is no other than Zhongmou, the mastermind of Sun Liao's death, and Yifeng's now eternal suffering. The man has a terrifying on his face -- a grin of sheer satisfaction. He approaches Yifeng and places a hand on the shattered man's shoulder, nodding in approval of the deed that had been done.

Yifeng shudders; he wants to cry out, to yell as loudly as he can, to tell Zhoungmou all that he has been keeping inside; but no voice can be found. There is only silence. There is always only silence. Overwhelmed by the madness he is feeling, the madness he iss surrounded by, Yifeng flees the room, flees the government complex. He reaches the garden outside and falls to his knees before one of the many ponds, the ornate goldfish within fleeing his sudden approach. It is dark outside; the moon iss only a fragment of itself, and there are only a few torches lit in the area. Yifeng peers down into the dark pool of water, his eyes focusing slowly. As they finally adapt to the darker surroundings, Yifeng iss met with a grizzly scene, an abhorrent realization; the reflection in the water is not Yifeng's face -- it is the mask of Sun Tzao.

Horrified, Yifeng turns away, grasping his face, emitting the most painful sound, what one would likely relate to a mournful howl, possible. He is just as much a demon as Sun Tzao, as much of a vile man as Zhongmou.

Yifeng woke with a painful jolt, a sharp gasp coming from within him. He shot up, breathing laboriously; he was drenched in sweat and tears. His lip bled from where he had been biting it so fiercely in his tormented sleep. Damn it all. He thought bitterly to himself. He got out of his bed, shaking from the adrenaline that had been released during his dreaming, and made his way to his washroom. He quickly lit a candle and peered into his fine porcelain washbowl, anxious to see that his face was still his own. The reflection peering just as intensely back at him was in fact that of his face. He looked like total hell, but Yifeng sighed a deep, sharp sigh of relief at the sight.

Closing his eyes, he brought his face down to the bowl and brought the cool water up to his face, cleansing it of the tears, the sweat, and what little blood remained on his lip. The action was in vain, as he immediately began shedding tears afterward. They fell silently into the bowl, only a few slight whimpers broke up the sad silence. May the Heavens damn Zhongmou for all that he has done to me. . . . May they damn me as well for the evil that I have allowed him to make me commit.

Yifeng wiped the tears from his face once more, trying to regain his composure. It was late; he did not have time for weeping like a child at sch an hour. He grabbed the candle and made his way back to his sleeping chambers. He sat down on the bed, the fine silk sheets cold and damp with sweat. Sighing, he stood back up; he could not sleep in such a mess. Yifeng made his way over to his wardrobe and put on a simple robe, his sweat covered body attracting a chill. Nothing about this night was going well.

Just as he had slipped right arm into the appropriate sleeve, Yifeng was interrupted by one of his servants. "Excuse me, Master Zhu; there seems to be someone at the front of the manor. He looks only to be a boy." A boy? What the hell is going on now? Yifeng thought to himself, his brow clearly displaying his confusion. "Well, this night cannot possibly get any worse; you may as well show him in. Bring him to the second den." I could probably use the company anyway.

Yifeng, still looking like total shit, made his way to the den he had instructed the servant to bring his guest to. It was further within the manor and less likely to draw attention from outside eyes. He sat himself facing the entryway that they would be using and bade another servant to prepare tea for himself and his guest. A boy, huh? I have a feeling I know who to expect . . . but why? Could he be checking up on me as a part of Zhongmou's bidding? Perhaps it was wrong of him, but Yifeng could not help but be suspicious of the situation. If it was who he thought it was, then said boy was more than eager to please Zhongmou. Perhaps it was Yifeng's turn to die?

((OOC: Feel free to god mod the servant and the entry scene as you like. Yeah, I'm a lazy bastard. Ily.)

[Tony Stark]

“Can I… help you?”

A servant had opened the door, a somewhat younger girl who looked to be about Lu Xun’s age. She smiled politely, albeit a bit confused at why he would be knocking at this hour, and Xun tried to reply with an equally friendly smile. But he had not the strength, and gave up half-way through, letting his lips fall slack on his face. His eyes told her all she needed to know; the dark rings, the redness, the blood-shot whites of his eyes answered all of her questions. Xun spoke up, his voice trembling as the words left his lips. They were slow and determined not to bring more tears to his eyes.

“Might I bother Master Yifeng for a moment of his time?”

She knew that Xun would not be here in the middle of the night if it were not of dire importance, and so she showed him into the entry room. It may have been decorated lavishly; it may have been a barren wasteland of despair. Xun cared not, for even the candles could only shine a light on his own despondent disposition. He would not have been able to look around even if he wanted to, for his neck wouldn’t allow it. He tried, but the action was in vain. Xun simply stood there with his head hung and drowning in his own anguish, waiting for the servant to return to show him Zhu Ran.

He stood there for what seemed like seconds, minutes, hours, months, decades. He had no concept of time when he let his thoughts drift alone inside his head. All he could think about was his pain, which stemmed from the pain he caused others. With no end in sight, Xun was sure he had caught himself in a vicious cycle. Every time a citizen averted their gaze from him, a little piece of him died inside. His people feared him, the very people he had sworn an oath to protect. How had he allowed himself to fall so far? Xun prayed a man like Yifeng would hold the answer. He was the lone star that seemed to shine in the kingdom, and yet even he had succumbed to Sun Quan’s terror. Hpefully he had the answer Lu Xun strived for. If he didn’t… than surely his slope was too slippery to ascend.

“Master Zhu Ran will see you now.”

Xun jumped, startled by the woman. He had almost forgotten where he was, and he made no attempt to hide his shock from the woman. She apologized, Xun shrugged and said it was fine, and she directed him down the hall. It was weird for Xun, walking down that darkened hallway to the room where two chairs sat, lit by a few candles. It seemed like he wasn’t moving, like every step he took was in place. He didn’t know why, but it scared him. Perhaps his mind was afraid of what Zhu Ran might say to him. There he went, being a coward again. Xun’s nostrils flared defiantly and he quickened his pace to the meeting room. It might not have said much, but his steps spoke louder than any words he could speak to encourage himself.

He reached the room finally, and was face to face with the only man who could be his savior. Yifeng looked… well, awful. He appeared sickly, a bit thin from not eating, his eyes more blood-shot than Xun’s were. Xun tried to say something, perhaps it was a reply to what Zhu Ran might have said, but he couldn’t seem to hear anything. He simply stood there for a moment, taking it all in. This was the first time he had seen Yifeng since that day in Quan’s chamber, and it seemed their actions had sent both men through a dark passage that tortured them both. Xun was relieved to know he wasn’t the only one suffering, but quickly felt awful at the implications that Yifeng’s suffering benefitted him. It may have been a few seconds, or even a few minutes, before Xun shook his wandering mind away and looked to his left, where a seat was situated a short distance away from him, directly across from where Zhu Ran sat.

Xun ran his fingers over the chair for a moment before he sat. It was beautiful, with soft cushions and intricate wooden designs. It was more than Xun deserved. He would have preferred the chair had been fitted with needles that he was forced to press his back against, or perhaps one that was kept over a hot fire. Xun did not deserve to sit in a chair as fine as this, and he knew it. Hell, he almost wanted to stay standing, but such an action would surely end with him on his knees, a pitiful, pathetic sight even he would not bare to be a part of.
He walked slowly to the front of the chair, and braced himself as he sat with shaking legs. However, once he sat his legs couldn’t seem to sit still. They bounced idly while Xun tried to say something again. He couldn’t, though. The more he tried to say something right, the more he believed his words to be wrong. He had to speak from his heart, rather than his head. Now that he was here… he wasn’t sure he was prepared. He had worked through a speech in his head, something at least a bit poetic, to say to his Prime Minister. It had all went through the door, his mind was blank, and he could feel the rawness of his emotions forcing themselves up upon his face.

“… I tried to kill myself tonight, Yifeng. A few times, actually. But each time I held my sabre to my neck I hadn’t the strength to finish it.”

His lower lip trembled; he was too weak to stop it from happening. He couldn’t compose himself, and this only humiliated himself more. Here Zhu Ran sat, obviously fatigued, offering Xun his time in the middle of the night, and he sat her embarrassing himself. He was on the verge of tears again, and Lu Xun was sure Zhu Ran could see it, even in the dim light that surrounded him. His legs hadn’t stopped bouncing up and down, and the more he spoke, the harder his hands gripped the arms of the chair. Soon his knuckled were white, and his fingers burned from the strain; Xun didn’t mind, though, knowing the pain was a small taste of what he had wanted to give himself that night.

“It’s moments like that when I wish I was stronger. Maybe then I wouldn’t have-“

He wanted to finish his thought, tell Yifeng that if he were stronger, maybe he wouldn’t have killed Sun Liao, stood up to his Lord for what was right, rather than sit and obey like a common dog, doing everything short of killing his own people to please his lord…

But that was precisely what he had done. He had killed his countrymen, his brother from the south, to further his personal glory. He had sworn an oath to protect his brothers and sisters with everything he could give, and to do everything in his earthly power to keep them safe from harm. And in the course of a short two weeks, he had thrown everything he thought he stood for out of the fucking window.

But the words he needed would not find his lips, stuck in his throat as the dams broke and tears welled. Xun had thought he was no longer capable of tears after spending a night allowing a constant stream of them down his face. But they appeared to have regrouped and reenergized for another assault at his sanity, his manhood, and his pride. His head shook from side to side as if he were telling himself ‘No. No matter what you try and say, you did it. Sun Liao’s blood is as much on your hands as it is on Sun Tzao’s.’ and he looked on the verge of another break down. His words were mixed with pauses to collect his breath, to try and breathe through the pain, yet each breath was as shaky as his voice. And the more his breathing and words faltered him, the more he gave in to the torment yet again.

“I talked with Lu Meng the other day. I told him of my new rank, and rubbed it right in his face, called him incompetent, a joke, a has-been, a common soldier on the front lines. I insulted the man who stood up for me when no one else would, Yifeng. When everyone else said I was too small or too weak to be a real general, he never gave up on me. And look where his trust has gotten me.”

He couldn’t hold them back any longer; tears poured from his eyes, and he let his head hang in his hands. Xun was able to get a few words in between his sobs, which were so ferocious and came with such force that they hurt his chest and abdomen.

“I’ve helped kill a boy younger than me. I am a monster, Yifeng, The people hate me, my fellow generals hate me, and I hate me. The only peace I thought I could find was in death, but even then I coward. I’m weak, Yifeng. Too weak to deserve everything I’ve received, too much of a pitiful dog to deserve the rank. I’m just a… piece of shit that deserves a gutter. Not even a gutter, I don’t deserve the light of day.”

The words were what his thoughts had spoken to him all day and night following his revelation with Lu Meng. He looked up at Yifeng, and for the first time let his gaze connect with the man’s. Xun projected his pain, desperation, and heart-wrenching honesty to Zhu Ran, hoping with all of his might that the Prime Minister could help him. He was able to defy his tears their pleasure in making him look a child for but a moment, composing himself just long enough to speak a few clear words. But those words only brought the tears back, and while his left elbow rested on the arm of the chair, his forehead rested on his left hand. He gripped at his hear with such a force that it very well may have been close to being ripped clean off of his head.

“I’m not a man worthy to lead the armies of Wu. I’m not a man… I’m not a man.”

Xun spoke at a volume barely higher than the softest whisper now.

“I’m not a man...”

Xun let the silence fill his ears for a moment as he tried to compose himself. He had no idea how long he sat there and cried in Yifeng’s presence. He had no idea if Yifeng had consoled him, scolded him for not manning up, or if he had even left. However, when Xun spoke again his voice was finally firm, albeit it coarse from his sobbing and as grim as ever.

“O’, Lord… what have I done, Yifeng?”

He was a mess, but he had no doubt Zhu Ran could empathize with him. He again lifted his eyes, and looked Zhu Ran straight in the face.

“What have we done?”

[Kyle]

When the young man entered, Yifeng's suspicions concerning his identity were confirmed. The older man tensed up instinctively, almost expecting Sun Tzao to appear from out of nowhere and end his life. However, upon further observation of the young scion of Lu, Yifeng relaxed and his eyes softened. Lu Xun had seemed all too eager to please his lord during the assassination planning, yet he seemed just as miserable as Yifeng. What a curious thing, Yifeng thought to himself, it would seem this upstart has a conscience under all of that ambition, or something.

Yifeng did not speak, he simply observed the younger man. Lu Xun did not seem to know what he wanted to do, or even say for that matter. He simply stood there looking lost. Yifeng's eyebrows rose in a mixture of concern and curiosity at the site; he thought to say something, but he wasn't sure if it would even register -- the boy looked dead.

The servant came back with the tea not long after Lu Xun had entered the den. Sleep still in his eyes, he placed the tea before Yifeng. Yifeng regarded the man. "Thank you for preparing tea for me and my guest. You may go back to bed; I will clean up after myself." The servant thought to object, but he simply smiled thankfully and bowed to Yifeng, taking his leave, his bed his destination. Yifeng poured tea for his guest first, placing on the table near the chair designated for Lu Xun, then for himself. He held the hot cup in his hand, taking in the aroma of jasmine that the tea emitted. It was a wonderful smell.

Lu Xun had made his way to the chair now; however, he simply stood there regarding the chair, almost as if it were some sort of deity. Yifeng grew steadily more concerned about what was happening. There had been nothing but silence, and Lu Xun seemed to clearly have lost his mind. When the younger man finally seated himself, he immediately began fidgeting, his legs bouncing idly. What the hell is going on? Why did he come here? What had happened? As Yifeng's mind swirled with questions, the man sitting before him answered them all with one sentence.

“… I tried to kill myself tonight, Yifeng. A few times, actually. But each time I held my sabre to my neck I hadn’t the strength to finish it."

Yifeng sat in silence still, unsure of why Lu Xun would divulge such himself to him of all people. In truth, Yifeng and Boyan were not much more than acquaintances. They had only ever truly spoken with one another at the meeting to decide how to end Sun Liao's life. His brow knit in concentration. Why me? Why would he attempt suicide? In all of Yifeng's sorrow and misery, he had never even thought of taking his own life. Why would this boy here believe that was a suitable course of action for whatever distress he was in?

Yifeng noted his guest’s body language; it was more than apparent that the younger man was struggling to keep himself composed. Boyan started to speak again but cut himself off mid-sentence. The struggle to keep his composure seemed to be one the man was losing. He was breathing irregularly, and stammering; Yifeng wasn't sure what to do, but he certainly was not comfortable with the situation. Of all times, now is when this has to happen? Yifeng realized that likely should be a bit more empathetic, but with everything that he had going on, and with his general lack of understanding of the situation, he was growing impatient.

After some more incomprehensible breathing and other noises from the younger man, he finally began to explain himself. He had disrespected Lu Meng to his face, treated the man like shit. This revelation was not particularly surprising to Yifeng, it seemed in line with what he perceived Boyan's character to be. An ambitious upstart who would step on anyone to get where he needed to be, and turn his back to those who helped him get to where he was, that was the type of person Boyan seemed to be. This confession did not particularly assuage Yifeng's annoyance; though, he was mildly surprised at how upset the younger man seemed to be about his actions.

Yifeng thought to speak up, to remonstrate Boyan on his actions, but he was stopped by the tears that began to fall down his guest's face. Lu Boyan was sitting before Yifeng in the dead of night, sobbing uncontrollably, and Yifeng was still confused. He can't be sobbing so ferociously over insulting the man who led him to prominence. Could he possibly be . . . Before he could finish the thought, Boyan managed to explain through barely suppressed sobs.

As Boyan poured out all of his doubts and worries to Yifeng, the Prime Ministers eyes softened, a certain sadness taking to them. It was truly a pitiful sight. It was if a child was sitting before him, and not even his bitter, hardened heart could deny such a sad sight. That aside, Yifeng did wonder if Boyan was truly sorrowful because of the wrongs he had done, or if he was so grief-stricken because all of the glory and fame he had imagined himself having had become disdain and infamy. And in that moment of wonder, Yifeng was reminded of the time when Zhoungmou admitted to the murder of Bofu.

Lu Boyan's eyes looked just like Zhoungmou's did that day, and it hurt Yifeng to look back into them. Closing his eyes, Yifeng sighed a deep sigh, a few silent tears falling down his lean face. He did not shed tears for the boy before him, no; he shed them because his heart still ached for Zhongmou -- because of Zhongmou. As Boyan went on feeling sorry for himself, Yifeng was occupied by thoughts of Zhongmou. Bitter dejection still clouded his mind; he could not even begin to comprehend how he would ever be able to face him again. He had managed to successfully avoid Zhongmou since his return, but that was only because the latter was up north dealing with Zhang Liao. Upon Zhongmou's return, Yifeng knew not what he would do.

Damn him.

Yifeng did his best to shake himself of the thoughts filling his brain, the pure desperation taking hold of him. He opened his eyes once more, the sobbing figure before him finally composing himself once more. Despite fairly regular heaves, Boyan was now in control of himself. He looked like absolute hell now, snot and tears beginning to dry on his face. His hair was a mess, a product of him puling at it in his anguish. Such an unfortunate man to behold, Yifeng thought solemnly to himself. He still had not spoken any words of comfort to Lu Boyan, he still knew not what to say. That was until the younger man spoke his final piece:

"O’, Lord… what have I done, Yifeng? What have we done?"

So this really is about the murder of Sun Liao? Hm, very well. Yifeng's brow furrowed, an unhappy look forming on his delicate features. "What we have done, General Lu, is murder an innocent boy who had not even truly begun his life yet. What we have done is break the heart of one of more distinguished veterans. What we have done is follow the orders of a murderous madman." Yifeng was clearly angry, not with Lu Xun, but about the situation in general. He was angry thinking about all the injustices that had been so easily committed by Zhongmou, the man he once regarded as his closest friend.

"Of course, I would think that no one would have to explain this to you, Lu Xun; you have a bright mind. So, now that we've got what we both understand out of the way, allow me to move on to something that I do not understand. You seemed to have few qualms about this whole incident during our meeting to discuss the boy's death -- the boy's murder -- yet you now seem to be stricken with despair over the affair. Why the sudden change of heart, General? And on another matter, when one keeps a demon such as Sun Tzao in his employ, one should expect to be ill-received by the populace. He has killed countless people, for no damned reason at all. You are aware of that, are you not? If you must weep for Sun Liao, then you should spend the entirety of your life weeping for all others that that creature has taken from this world unjustly and without cause.

"If you truly think that sitting here and wallowing in self-pity will somehow make amends for anything, then that is the course I suggest for you. Do not be selective in your grieving, boy." Yifeng's words were harsh, but Boyan had stuck a chord with him. He was acting like a child; he was accomplishing nothing. He wanted nothing other than someone to feel sorry for him -- Yifeng would not be that person. It was true that Yifeng had felt sorry for himself plenty of times since the meeting, but he did not seek out others to share his misery with. This boy was weak to him. Instead of doing his duties, instead of trying to push his way through his misery, he embraced it, bathed in it.

"The question is not one of what we have done, Lu Xun; it is a one of what we are going to do about it."

[Tony Stark]

Lu Xun listened to the words Yifeng spoke, letting his eyes close as he steadied his breathing and let the firm words wash over him. He knew everything Yifeng said was right. Everything Xun needed to hear was being spoken from the mouth of a man much wiser than he. He slowly nodded when Yifeng scolded him for only mourning Sun Liao, and not the death of the countless other men, women and children Tzao had slaughtered in his lifetime.

"I know... it's just I-"

Xun sat up straighter as he shrugged, re-positioning his body in a way to face Zhu Ran more effectively.

"I dunno. I felt sorry for Tzao, I guess. He's never told me about what happened to him as a kid, but I've seen the scars. I've seen what his parents did to him. He's never known anything but pain. I never thought he would have been transformed into... what he is now. I was just so busy with my head up my ass to see the long-term effects, I guess."

It was true, Xun felt an immense level of pity for Tzao, the only reason he allowed himself to keep company with the man. They had been friends since both were mere children, but it wasn't until Xun entered into the military, with Tzao at his side, that his friend was turned into a monster. Sun Quan had taken him, broken him yet again, and molded him into a machine that only needed blood to keep its gears going.

"I know, I know... I don't know why Sun Liao struck me so hard. Probably because I've never helped kill a man before. I always gave Tzao his orders, let him do the deed. Now I realize I've been helping him kill along. I just didn't see it."

His voice trailed off at the end as he leaned down and picked up the cup of tea. It was hot and burned the raw part of his throat as it went down, but he could feel the phlegm being moved away by the liquid, and he felt that if he could speak clearly, he could think clearly as well. He set it down, and let his head nod slightly as he thought.

"I know sitting here and wallowing isn't going to help anything. It's not going to bring Sun Liao back. It won't bring anyone back. Maybe I thought they deserved someone to grieve for them. I dunno."

He picked up the tea and took another sip after blowing on it a few times. the liquid was no longer close to unbearable, and was perfectly warm. He began to drink it quickly before setting it down, no longer wanting to indulge his gluttony.

"It's just... this is wrong, Yifeng. Undeniably, terribly wrong. I want to stop it."

He leaned back in his chair, biting the side of his cheek between his teeth. He tried to stop it by ending his own life, and in his moment at rock bottom he thought it the solution. He had thought that if he allowed the Heavens to pass judgement on him quickly, they wouldn't judge him on the deeds he had yet to commit.

"I don't want people to fear me. I don't want to fear myself. My father raised me better than that, and I refuse to go down this path any longer, Yifeng. I just don't know how to turn around.


He wanted to say something... but he wasn't sure how Zhu Ran would take it. It was a drastic measure, something even Xun knew would be taken as treasonous. Xun knew that if it were received in the wrong light, he would be strung up by his feet, and killed as a traitor. He would not allow his legacy to end in such a way. He refused.

"... But I think I know where the root of our problems lie."

[Kyle]

Yifeng listened quietly as the younger man offered his reasons for what he had done. Boyan still sounded like a boy to Yifeng, but at least he now sounded like a composed boy. So he pities a monster? I believe that I can very well relate to that sentiment . . . now that I know the truth. Yifeng sighed, rubbing his temples, Why must everything be so difficult of late?

As he held his thumbs up to his temples, Yifeng stared down at his tea. The warm liquid was steaming, its contents slowly drifting into the air, yet the surface looked completely placid. It reminded Yifeng of himself. He had slowly been losing himself for some time now; however, he always managed to keep a calm face before others. Again his mind had drifted; again he was in his own thoughts. His mind registered that his guests was speaking, but nothing made it through -- no words were understood.

How can I ever get passed this? I feel as though I have been in an indefinite stasis, and I cannot foresee it ending until I confront Zhongmou. But how, how can I ever do that? Should I simply act as though nothing has happened? I do not believe that I could do so; he dose not deserve such a thing. With his hands still upon his temples, Yifeng remained staring at the the tea before him, lost in it's unmoving, reflecting surface. That was until Boyan placed his own tea down on the table, shattering the smooth image Yifeng's face in the tea.

He snapped back into reality at the sound of the cup being placed down and with the sight of the tea's light ripples. Oh my, I have certainly made myself a terrible host this eve. I hope he hasn't noticed my lack of attention. Picking his own tea up, Yifeng nodded lightly, as if in agreement with what had been said, or simply in acknowledgement. Apparently his young guest was too busy expressing himself to have noticed, for he simply pressed on in conversation.

"It's just... this is wrong, Yifeng. Undeniably, terribly wrong. I want to stop it."

They were strong were, undeniably so, and Yifeng found himself agreeing with the sentiment. However, Yifeng could see no way to go about stopping Zhongmou's madness. Before Yifeng had much time to ponder it further, the young, upstart general followed up with a fairly obvious statement. Chuckling, Yifeng shook his head at the boy's words. "Oh do you, Lu Xun?" Still smiling, he took a sip of tea, not sure of what else to say to the statement of his guest. If only you knew just how mad Zhongmou is, Lu Boyan. Zhongmou may be a villain, but I cannot and will not betray his darkest secret to this boy.

There were many reasons for Yifeng to not divulge the darkest secret of the Sun family. There was no guarantee that the young man sitting opposite could be trusted; Yifeng knew well that this could all just be a ploy by Zhongmou -- a test of loyalty. "I cannot say that knowing where our problems lie does much to alleviate the situation, General. It is obvious that Zhongmou's descent into madness is getting worse. Yet, what does knowing accomplish?"

Yifeng looked directly into Boyan's eyes, a sly grin on his face. Just what is this upstart getting at? Naivete and ambition -- he's playing a dangerous game by hinting at any sort of dissension. Why would he say this in front of me? "Before we continue, I would like you to know that those are bold word you've stated, Lu Xun. It is still not too late for you to leave it at that. With that warning out of the way, you may continue if you would like.

"I am curious, General; what is it that you have in mind?"

[Tony Stark]

"Well, maybe it's about time I started being a little bolder. I've done my duty thus far, without question, and it's sure gotten me where I want to be, right? Maybe it's time to think... outside the box."

Xun let his tongue pick at his teeth, and then wet his lips before he continued to talk. He picked his tea up again, the gentle, soothing heat calming his throat as he tried to decide which way was best in presenting this... idea of his. He was in a strange situation, a bit of a pickle if you will. As easily as it could have been for Xun to simply voice his opinion on the matter he was presenting, he had no idea just how loyal Yifeng had stayed through these turbulent times. Having witnessed Sun Quan's fury first-hand (pun definitely intended), how much more would Yifeng put up with before he finally put his foot down? This was what Boyan could not know, but he intended to do his best to find out.

"Yifeng, let's talk as men now. Not only as Prime Minister and General, but as two men who love their country and would do anything to preserve the integrity that it used to hold, when our fathers and our father's fathers presided over its rule. Is this acceptable?"

Boyan paused, crossed his left leg over his right, and leaned back in his chair. He had composed himself much more than the previous 5 minutes or so, albeit he still looked like a mess. But he could not help it, and would have to momentarily put his own vanity onto the back-burner.

"Now, let us assume that crime in Jian Ye was at an all-time high. Let us also assume that we are in charge of stopping it. How would you go about it, Yifeng? Would you create new laws to try and deter criminals from committing their offenses? Perhaps increase the quantity and quality of the guards who patrolled the streets? I'm curious, what would you do?"

Boyan would give Yifeng his time to respond. Of course, Boyan would listen, but no matter what Zhu Ran said, Lu Xun's confidence in his decision was unwavering. At this point, Lu Xun didn't care if he was found guilty of treason. After all, he wouldn't have been able to make it this far if he was unsure about where his heart truly lied. Xun spoke only after Yifeng had finished, and he allowed a few seconds of silence to hang in the air. He had been staring at his tea the entire time, somewhat entranced by the slow sifting steam that was beginning to disappear. Boyan would not look at his tea while he spoke; Lu Xun gazed into Yifeng's eyes with as much conviction as his young soul could hold.

"You know what I would do?"

Another brief pause.

"I would kill the criminals."

[Kyle]

Yifeng observed quietly as the younger man's demeanor took on a much more confident tone. His eyebrow rose into an arch as he listened. I believe you may be wrong, Lu Boyan, becoming bolder may not be the correct choice. So, too, may be your decision to think outside of the box. Yifeng kept his thoughts to himself for the moment, and allowed his younger guest to continue expressing his thoughts, however misguided they may have been.

When Boyan requested that they drop titles and discuss honestly as men, Yifeng nodded his head in agreement. Yifeng had been more than candid with his guest at this point, but if it made the younger man more comfortable, he would agree. As men he says; does this being before even know what it truly means to make any decisions as a man? He has had the way paved for him thus far; does he truly know the hardship of having to make decisions as a man? I somehow doubt this, but I will not interfere with his speech.

"Now, let us assume that crime in Jian Ye was at an all-time high. Let us also assume that we are in charge of stopping it. How would you go about it, Yifeng? Would you create new laws to try and deter criminals from committing their offenses? Perhaps increase the quantity and quality of the guards who patrolled the streets? I'm curious, what would you do?"

Yifeng sat silent for a moment as the question was posed to him. It was a fairly clear hypothetical and it was left open-ended. Yifeng's answer could literally be anything, but what would it be? He rubbed the right side of his face idly, feeling the scruff. I need to shave; this is unacceptable. Dropping his hand down to his lap, Yifeng refocused his vision on the guest he had been staring through as his mind wandered senselessly. He needed rest, and his fatigue was beginning to wear on him.

"What would I do, you ask Lu Boyan? If there were criminals, then they would be punished without hesitation. When I was in charge of Danyang, there was no order; the Yue tribes were having their way and the people had turned to banditry. The answer was simple: destroy those who would destroy order with as much indiscriminately. I did not simply kill the chieftains of the Yue people in rebellion; I killed all those who took up arms. I did not just kill the ringleaders of the gangs of the commandery; I killed all those who involve themselves in such disgusting affairs. And do you know what the result was, Lu Boyan? It was order -- absolute order.

"However, such a way of dealing with things is equally destructive I have found later on in life. The blood on my hands I take as no light matter. That order was at the sake of what? Was the price truly worth that absolute order? The lives I have ended for the sake of the State, for the sake of order and my duty to the Sun family, I do not so easily forget their cries and their pleas. I was much younger then, and equally as foolish as one might expect from any youth. I could have quelled that rebellion by removing those who instigated it; I could have disbanded those bands of misguided and destitute citizens simply by a show of force. I did not do either of those things. I killed many unnecessarily, and to this day I believe that I was misguided in my efforts.

"You are young, ambitious, naive -- foolish. No matter how skillfully you understand stratagems, you are foolish, and it is because you are young. Destruction begets destruction, in one way or another. And it always will. Whatever you may believe to be the proper course, perhaps you might reconsider before making choices that you will forever regret; if you live to feel any such pangs of remorse." Yifeng was no idiot; he knew well what the "man" before him was hinting at. This boy could think he was smarter than anyone else all he wanted to, but Yifeng had years of experience, years to refine his intellect through many mistakes. This boy had none of that.

The room was quiet after Yifeng spoke, Boyan staring down into his tea. In the silence, Yifeng's mind drifted back to Zhongmou, back to the time when he returned successfully from Danyang. Zhongmou was thoroughly pleased, his trust not betrayed by Yifeng. Total annihilation of all dissenters -- that is Zhongmou's way. Everything for the State -- at the sake of all else. Yifeng sighed deeply, he hated Zhongmou, but he also understood the man's reasons. A difficult situation; what will I do if Zhongmou's silent tyranny does in fact incite a rebellion? Could I actually turn sword against him? Could I betray him when I am the only one he has in this world? Has he not already betrayed me? Oh Zhongmou, you are too narrow-minded to realize that the foundations of your empire are crumbling around you.

As the moments passed and Yifeng's thoughts swirled in his weary mind, the young Boyan finally spoke up.

"You know what I would do? I would kill the criminals."

It was a response that Yifeng had expected. Despite his words of warning, this boy thought himself man enough to make that decision. You understand so little of how things work, Lu Boyan. Yifeng shook his head, chuckling lightly for a moment. He met the boy's burning gaze with his own impassive one. His eyes likely reflected the fatigue he was battling with inwardly; this conversation was not helping him with his problems at all.

"Instead of doing your best to maintain your duties, to protect so many others from the same fate of Sun Liao, you seek to cause more destruction than is necessary. Do you think that you can do what you imply should be done, Lu Boyan? Allow me to reiterate: you are young and you are most certainly foolish. He is not a man that is blind to the goings on around him; he is not a man that will be caught off guard. He is not a man that you can kill.

"He may be a demon; that may truly be what he is becoming; but I know that there is a man somewhere within his being. And that man I have known for my entire life. I know that I could not end his life -- even if I wanted it more than anything. It is not as though I had not considered what you consider now. I have thought many things -- felt many things -- and I know much more about this situation than you do.

"He is a hero to the people, Lu Boyan. The populace loves him; they praise him and me as if we are saints. What we have done for Southlands is hard to rival; they will not accept the end of his life, nor will many of his retainers. You are young, and you are despised because you keep a beast in a man's skin as a pet. Even if you accomplished your goal, you would die in the aftermath. Who then would protect the Southlands from the avaricious eyes of Cao Mengde of the north, or the snake Liu Xuande to the west, the Yue and Miao barbarians to the south, or the pirates to the east? The answer, Lu Boyan, is no one."

Yifeng paused, his gaze stern, never leaving the younger man opposite himself. He knew he spoke the truth, but he still wondered what he would do about Zhongmou. They still had not spoken, and it seemed that the situation would remain as such. Zhongmou is a ruler that brings peace and stability, but his means of doing so are cruel and malicious. He does not bring peace for the people, for his retainers, but for his own hubris. He is the best man to rule the entirety of the Middle Kingdom, but... how can I ever forgive him for what he has done to me -- for what he has done to his own family?

"I have thought to leave, Lu Boyan. I have thought to kill him with my own hands. I have thought to expose what he is to the people. I have thought many, many things. And do you know why I have done none of them? Do you know why I have been steadfast in my duties still, even at the sake of my own health? It is because I am bound to him in ways you cannot understand. From childhood you grew up with a monster; from childhood, I grew up with a once gentle soul. I have helped craft a place that is stable, that is prosperous and safe. I will not turn my back on all that I have done in this life, young scion of the Lu family.

"You have already begun to make your mark on this world as well; you deceived the mighty Guan Yunchang; you almost allowed for Lu Ziming to take the entirety of Jingzhou. However, now, you are blinded by feelings that you should learn to keep in check. I will tell you now, Lu Boyan of Lujiang, rebellion is never going to be the answer; and I will personally be standing in your way should you attempt such a course."

Yifeng's words were not spoken harshly; they were calm, level, but they held a power to them none could deny. It was a side he did not often show; he preferred to remain pleasant with everyone. However, when it was necessary, Zhu Yifeng could reveal that he was a man who knew his own power -- his own authority. Lu Boyan was a fool to seek him out; he knew so little of Yifeng as a man, and Yifeng could not help but feel slightly put off for being so underestimated by what was just an ambitious, naive, boy. Just what were you expecting from me, boy of the Lu family? Do you believe so weak to turn to violence at the first opportunity to solve my problems?

Yifeng had decided; he had made up his mind. He would not betray Zhongmou -- he could not betray Zhongmou. Despite all that had happened, theirs was a bond that would endure, one that had to endure. But he wondered if he was strong enough to confront Zhongmou about any of his bitterness, of his sadness. Would the man even care? It was unfortunately a legitimate question.

[Tony Stark]

Fine.


Lu Xun sat there soundlessly through all of Zhu Ran's speech; Boyan would no longer refer to him as Yifeng. The man had rejected Lu Xun's plans, which could have proved to save the country's declining sense of morality. But no, the evil would continue. Zhu Ran had just willed it to. The Prime Minister would deal with this monster then; Lu Xun cared not after this moment. Boyan would just continue to do what he had always done, which was further his own legacy. Was that not what Zhu Ran was suggesting? To do away with thoughts of rebellion, to do away with the rights that he held as a citizen of this country? If that was what the Prime Minister wanted, then Lu Xun would provide just to spite him.

Boyan would never have the bond Zhu Ran had with his Zhongmou. Even with it, though, Boyan could not understand how you could continue to feed this evil that was decaying the country as he knew it. Zhu Ran, by not doing anything, was truly the evil one in Boyan's young, over-zealous eyes.

"Fine."

Lu Xun stood, picked up his cup of tea, and downed it before dropping the cup to the platter with a sharp clang. Boyan cared not if the cup was shattered, it would simply symbolize the end of this meeting.

"Fine.

Lu Xun nodded ferociously, shaking his head in disbelief as he turned to walk away. He stopped himself, though, and turned to speak his piece to the Prime Minister.

"You sit here, and talk about bonds, Prime Minister. But where is your bond to your people? To the citizens of this nation that Sun Quan is unleashing his darkness upon? To the human beings we have killed on his behalf? From this day forth, I say unto you, Zhu Ran, every person that dies from Sun Quan's hand is being killed by you.

I will continue to serve my country, even if that means bringing Sun Quan's destruction raining down on this land with an apocalyptic fury none will ever match. I will bring down countries, Zhu Ran, and I will kill men. I will do it for Zhongmou in spite of you. I will kill whatever innocent soul he decrees must die, and I will even kill you, Yifeng, if he asks of it. I respect you as a person, Prime Minister, you are stronger than I could ever hope to be. But know that now my loyalty will lie in Sun Quan's hand. If you do confront him on your own, and it ends poorly, I do not doubt your fate will fall in line with Sun Liao."

Lu Xun turned, and left Zhu Ran's house. Boyan would never speak of this meeting, and he would never care to speak of this topic with the Prime Minister again. He would do Sun Quan's bidding, yes, Boyan would do what his King asked of him. He would kill men and bring cities to their knees in his name, and he would do it in anger against the Prime Minister.

((Thread Finished, I think.))

[Kyle]

((Lies!))

The haggard form of Yifeng reacted little to the boy's outburst. He knew that either the boy would understand what he was trying to say, or that the boy would refuse to accept the knowledge in his words. Apparently the latter was the young Lu's choice. He is too full of himself and his plans to realize that his solution would cause more death and destruction than Zhongmou's reign ever would. Foolish, truly.

The boy threw his cup down, nearly shattering the fine porcelain. As he did so, Yifeng simply shook his head in minor amusement. It seemed as though the prodigal Lu Xun was not accustomed to not getting his way. It was a lesson he would soon need to learn, a lesson he would soon learn the hard way. All things do not fall into place so easily all the time.

Yifeng thought to respond to the boy's bitter words, but he knew it pointless, and he was too weary to continue with such a farce of a meeting. He had more than enough to deal with and worry about. He was Prime Minister of the entirety of the Wu state and Viceroy of its capital and two other major cities. This child's selfish desires were not worth fretting over any longer.

"Have a pleasant journey home, General." Yifeng stated casually as he rose from his seat and departed to his bed chambers. It was early in the morning now, and he had to be up in only a few hours. He disrobed and plopped himself down on his bed. Damn that kid. So he will slaughter innocents to punish me for not supporting his gamble to kill even more innocent people? Zhongmou has an image to uphold; you may very well be the next to lose your life to his machinations if you are to go about slaughtering people so blatantly in his name. And I would have few reservations in assisting him in that should you truly go down this path of wanton and totally misguided destruction.

He rolled over onto his back, staring into the blackness all around him. He rubbed his temples as he thought about all of the stresses in his life. I wonder what that kid will do once he realizes that his plan is only going to harm himself. I wonder what that kid will do when he finds that his life will end abruptly because of his hubris and ignorance. Bah, no matter; I have too much to worry about as it is. I need to go to sleep.

The figure of Zhu Yifeng closes its eyes, but sleep did not come, nor would it come. As he lied there, trying to force sleep, his mind was alive and unceasing. In the calm stillness of the dark room, Zhu Yifeng's mind was a maelstrom of thoughts, swirling and refusing to be ignored or even locked away even for a moment. Yifeng tossed and turned, trying to find some magical position in which his thoughts would be nullified and he could find the rest that he so desperately needed.

Finally, the man gave up and opened his eyes. Sunlight... damn it. It was morning, and his mind was still not at rest. Sighing heavily, wearily, Zhu Yifeng rose from bed and proceeded to start his morning ritual for getting ready. He would wash himself, shave, and he would dress himself finely before walking out of his manor and onto the streets. He would greet the smiles of acquaintances and strangers with a weary one of his own. He would not show his fatigue, but his eyes would betray him. He would go to work and he would expend all of the energy that he did not have for the State and its people.

He would not stop doing his duty -- ever. For that was what he swore he would do. It was what he swore to Zhongmou so many years ago. He swore that he would never give up on the future that they both worked so hard to create. He knew not where he stood with Zhongmou since the Sun Liao affair, but Yifeng knew that his relationship with Zhongmou and that his duty to the State were two very separate things.

((I just felt like writing this little ditty. It's not super important to the thread, but whatever. Thread finished.))

[Mikey]

Using the reward rubric, this thread scored high in Plot, high in Conflict, high in Character Development, and moderate in Entertaining Factors.

Nick - 20 Reputation Points for general writing ability, 4 Notoriety Points for, 1 SPECIAL Point.

Kyle - 20 Reputation Points for general writing ability, 1 Benevolence Point, 1 SPECIAL Point.

Super well-written thread.