Words Unspoken [Open]

[Gong]

It was not the desire to have retired from the Council so soon, however, the heavy blow of such words placed down upon her gave no other option than to disappear and redeem her name within the future. Such an easy trap to have fallen for. Circulating in her mind were the constant words of criticism that would now be placed upon her, not hearing the kind words of the Minister Chen as the Matriarch escaped the eyes. Approaching the quarters she shared with her husband, Furen was met with the faces of the attendants that could not wonder why the hair had been cut; yet, it was not the time for questions..the Matriarch's eyes spoke of an expression they had not seen before, especially a woman with the headstrong nature of her father. Silence was needed, no words could be spoken as Furen sat herself down so they could place the now shoulder length hair into a design most fitting to her tastes...

The two girls moved in silence, only the sound of material and the regular jingling of the head-dress pieces resonating within the room; relieved that Li Ru was not present at this damaging time. Thoughts moved to him, she had not viewed her husband in such a long time..did he not see that within Xu and under the guidance of the office, their lives could become secure. "Soon the world shall know of my existance. Do you believe I am causing more pain to our Kingdom, than any enemy could do?" A side they were waiting for, one of her mother; a woman that they knew of.. A gentile soul that was the reason her own being was desirable in a wife..caring for others before oneself's own safety. "Yet bound to my Brother I am, for his blade did not strike me like it did the rest of my family." Rising from the seat Furen moved towards the window and closed her eyes, to breath in the scent of the air from outside; the attendants rushing to finish their work before the entire head-dress would collapse.

"I place political burden upon this Kingdom, would it come to the time that my own life would be bartered for peace? The complete anhilation of my clan as the seal upon the deal?" They could not say whether her words were true, nor did they have the confidence to speak out their own opinions; that, perhaps, one day the worthy ally requested her head in order for the friendship to become strong.. "I must speak with the Minister Chen..." Closing her eyes, the vision of her father came before her and placed a faint smile onto her experssion as the memories of their time flooded forth. There was pain there, but the stories of Dong Zhuo numbed her from any suffering; only strife she now felt was the possibility of becoming more harm than good to those now around her..those who kept her life from the Nether Realm.. "I know of my father's past, the truth and the mist he told me; yet, how can I not attempt to guard my father's name?"

As the attendants finished they rushed to help the Matriarch to the chair who seemed haunted by her own making, the pressure of becoming the head of her Clan was daunting and it seemed she may not have recovered enough to take the lead. There was strength, it just needed guidance on how to take control of it and not become the image of which her father was now placing upon her. "Noble Yuan, Master Cao, Fledgling Sun, Imperial Liu, Lord Yuan, Master Ma, Master Gongsun, Lord Liu.. How many names would curse when the Envoy proclaims my survival? Dong Zhuo's daughter is living and protected by Lord Lu.." Even hearing the names made her shiver, to know that perhaps the alliances they need would not be succesful because of her?.. Disaster was upon the horizon if true... "Perhaps, I should take to my carriage and begin the life of pilgrimage; to each Kingdom and place my forgiveness to them..for the sake of my Clan's survival." The attendants could not speak the outcome, they were here to serve the Matriach for her every wish and knew that this thinking was not of good nature. But also, that even if she placed her head to the ground there was no garantee that they would accept the sorrow of a woman... Furen's eyes trailed over to the sword that was placed upon the rack to the end of the chamber, a simple Jian that she was well learned in and used for protection. "Or perhaps, perform the Dance of Consort Yu before the final hours of Xiang Yu's life.." It would no doubt give the Realm what it wished, for the eradication of the Dong family; to which they believed they had done. The attendants were quick to move, just incase that the thought would become a reality..a formal education was not needed to know the story of Consort Yu; upon the hill which they were stranded she performed the sword dance to which lead her to slit her throat..so that she would wait for Xiang Yu in the Underworld and not view the murder of her beloved.

"Aiya! Speak no such ill Furen, the ancestors shall weep to such an action; you have been placed with the path to redeem your Clan in the eyes of the Realm..the Heavens shall bless your shrines and forgive the actions of the past, it is a matter of mere timing and endurance." A smile appeared, the eldest attendant was correct. Everything had it's own time in which all must abide by, yet sometimes impatience caused alterations that had the ability to turn either way. It was something the Matriarch had to be at peace with, to withstand the heavy criticism and slander that her father brought even by the mention of his name. Taking a deep breath, a small necklace was taken into hand of pure jade and carved was a peacock; a jewel from the South..a gift from her father.. "Furen, why not take a gentle strole to clear the mind. Perhaps some air would do you good?" Another breath, as the eyes could not leave the exquisite carvings of the pendant; the attendants knew that words of such would be mere folly.

"Today shame was placed to my feet, time must be given until I can next present myself; I shall not leave this confines for the day. If I am needed for any matter, I shall recieve them." Looking to the seal upon her desk, the seal of her father, Furen smiled that perhaps the times were moving and she could finally take the breath of a new being..a new Era that would remember Dong Zhuo, but also the virtues of the Tyrant's daughter. There were many options for a woman to become praised for her family, but how she presented herself.. "Fetch me the scrolls, carvings, inks and brushes."

[Wei Guozhi]

(I realise my posts are nothing like they were back on Sanguo. It’s time to try and fix that!)

Bearing ones ignominy was a trait far more delicate to Zuo Shi than he would ever let on. For he too was one who was fraught by the shame of anothers deligation to the state. It had occured years ago, and although the wound inflicted upon him had healed with time, the memoriess were not so easily forgotton, and this encounter with Dong Furen could do no more than tear it back to fruition.

He had left the chambers after the lady, bidding his farewell to the lord he had now learned to serve. Through his words, he had helped arise the crisis – and he walked solemly to the chambers where he would hope to see Lady Dong personally. Though saddened by what he had done, he felt strongly in the words he had stated. It was not his problem if lady dong or Lu Bu took the meaning literally – he did what he needed to do, and say what he needed to say.

He reached the house of the lady, bid the guard farewell and then preceeded to the interior. Frames marbled with art and decoration stood on each wall, and a lot of the jewels that flickered beneath him were those stolen by her father years prior to todays circumstance.

“My lady.”

He started, turning to a seat and perching himself gingerly on it. “I have come to speak freely.”

The mistress’s servants came to shoo him away, but he merely sighed and tutted at their failed attempts. Waving a hand a sif to silence the children. “I wish to speak, not be pestered by the likes of servants.”

The maids left at his bark, and he was able to turn his eye back to the lady. He could see many thisngs from her state: doubt, worry – panic. He nodded.

“has the fire been extinquished so soon?” He asked solemly, and then beckoned her with his hands stretched, “I may be old and feeble – but allow me to say something freely.”

He could not wait for her response, and merely flicked back his wrist so that the length of hsis robe shielded his body.

“Dong Zhuo was a tyrant, similar to how my own son was one.”

He paused for a moment, and his hearts suddenly sank. He could feel it’s psulse, and he swallowed the bitterness and the guilt as he tried to push beyond his own fragile existence, “My son killed my wife. Dsispatched the governor of my home county and forced himself against me. At the time I was unaware of the disdain I had created. I had only wished to teach the boy....but in the end I cvreated a monster, deprived of love, feeling and compassion. Thus I adopted the name Zuo Shi, but this is not my actual name.”

He straightened as best he could given the circumstances, and continued his stare.

“My true name is Xu Tao, my son, Xu Lang.”

He spoke the words as if she would know them, but truth was he knew she would not. The accident was small – and existed only within the county he had been abolished from.

“I no longer have a home, or a son....and I too was led to the dispair. My old friends, my people, my governor – all turned in hatred to me for the crime I had commited. They knew my son was the villian, but they blamed me nevertheless, and you too will com e to share that same nature. The acvtion sof a father is bestowed upon their child, and the acts of a child is reflected upon their father or carer.”

He paused again. Allowing a moment to pass before continueing.

“Do not let words break your resolve. You did not hear what I heard, but.....Lu Bu...”

He could not bring himself to say it. Lu Bu was the one who needed to be discussing this, but no ruler morally could speak such weak words.

“He seeks power and glory, so that his famed kingdom and his famed name can help remove the tarnished reputation you was left behind with. You are more than you could ever hope – but alas, how can he show such weakness, how can he show piety to a subordinate. He must rewmain strong, but the mans eyes speaks volumes to me.....”

[Gong]

The Matriarch could not deny that her annoyance was raised when the attendants refused entry of the aged man, after all did she not previously inform them that all guests would be given entrance. Though they were persistent, Furen enjoyed watching as the man made easy picking of them and simply ordered them to leave; out of rank, they had no option but to comply. Turning to face the guest she came surprised to be met by Zuo of the Council, stating his own opinions even if his rank did not compare with others..however, they seemed of significance. Moving away from the calligraphy the Tyrant's daughter was about to scribe, the words suddenly came and surrounded her...a fire was seen within her?.. Of course, as a Matriarch there was flames to be had and they could easily overcome a mere man by simple wave of the tongue. However, or so it seemed, this Zuo Shi could read her so well and it made her respect the elder; so much so that after his words and story were told she offered him the very seat she was sat upon.

Rising from the seat, so that Zuo could become comfortable, Furen allowed a sigh to escape her lips whilst thinking over everything he had told her. His fate was similar to hers, both had shame forced upon them by no fault of their own; a father should not be blamed of the way-would child..nor a daughter of an imposing father. Yet, here they were placed upon the same path by not only the Heavens, but also the Realm who could not see them for the individuals that they were. "Elder Zuo, you honour me with such trust of your past and your knowledge is vast as the ocean. I cannot deny how true your words are." Turning to the window, the Matriarch looked upon Xiapi as if imprisoned within the confines of her chambers and closing her eyes...relived the Elder's story in her mind, the pain to which he suffered surely out-weighed her own. "I shall speak honestly to you. I can feel the flames of my father growing inside me and from the stories I have heard of him, I do not wish them to repeat through me. Yet, I have my mother's frail emotions that conflict with the traits I have inherited from a Tyrant. I understand now as the soul survivor and Matriarch of the Dong family, I must be as the mountain...in time.." The voice became frail as described and as her eyes opened, Furen could not tell whether she believed herself. "..in time.."

When the conversation turned upon the attitude and feelings of Lu Bu, it came as a shock for she had convinced herself that she became more than a sub-bordinate..her place expendible and a mere burden, for taking away the father she loved. "Perhaps I misjudged our Lord, I had allowed myself to believe that his actions would not change when he took the insignia of power. Thus, I convinced my mind he would not treat me as before." Turning upon her heal, Furen gazed back to the Elder and could not hide the smile that appeared..the words he spoke of Lu were needed and placed comfort into the heart that was finally beginning to beat. "I understand that many will question his reasons for my life and the reasons why I bow to him. Daughters such as I, could never become a threat. However, I cannot hold such a murder against him, after all..he is a brother to me and my heart could not lose another." Looking towards the desk, the Matriarch's eyes observed the ink sets and brushes that were neatly placed upon the wooden frame. "I know I am no match for Minister Chen, nor my husband, however.. I am learning, before the Dong family has an heir, I must serve Lord Lu to establish the survival of such a young Kingdom."

Another breath... "I thank you for your visit Elder Zuo." Furen did not truly know how to address him, whether his authentic name or the one to disguise his past. Yet, she decided upon the one she knew him by first, as not to simply pull away the stitches upon a no doubt open wound. "I must have been foolish to believe that my father did not act as the Tyrant, but a near savour; but we do not wish to think ill of our fathers. My time shall come for redemption, thus I must wait for such a moment; through the virtues of women I shall rise." The gesture was made to the desk with scrolls of past scholars who had set the traditions of men, yet mentioned little of the actions of women. "I was taught literature, fortunately for my father's accumolated wealth. Thus, I shall place comment and establish the norms of women; as our male ancestors have done for the filial son.. I shall do for the filial daughters." The Matriarch knew full well that many scholars would condemn her and possibly not wish to read them, but the education of women on manners and ettiquete for mothers was important..to understand these norms would most likely gain the highest of standard of husband.

"Elder Zuo, please forgive my insolence, but.. Why did you aid the Lord Lu within the council?" Hoping that Zuo Shi had taken the offered seat from before, Furen took to her knees and comfortably placed herself lower to him; she was the daughter of a Concubine within a harem...no doubt for such actions. After all, the Tyrant's daughter had been witnessed to actions of women whom had a mixture of characteristics; perhaps, quite convenient to wish to write about the good and bad traits. "Furthermore, with your knowledge of years; our men that kowtow..prey tell your opinion? I must apologise for the early bickering, perhaps our Realm would never see the civil and militant beings act as one.." It seemed that the Matriarch's disposition had changed, she felt comfortable with Zuo Shi and for some reason..began to trust him, though not knowing if it was well placed, she could not thank him enough for even going out of his way to speak with her...

[Wei Guozhi]

The elder hunkered in frowning thought. He was tired and his body ached and the thoughts came with an aggravating slowness. Across from him, Lady Dong Furen had moved to another seat and placed her hands on her laps, still breathing calmly through the calamity of the discussion. She had told him her story, or at least enough of it for the elder to grasp at bits and pieces. The most troubling part was not the resemblance to his own past, although that was certainly disturbing. It was with the implications that would arise. Dong Furen had the ambitions of her father, and the gentle traits of her mother – a mix surely to sour and buckle before the end of days.

“You speak of Chen Gong.”

He turned his body to sit on his new cushion, and gave a sigh of relief for the instant comfort granted by such a move. He was aging, that he knew – and he was bothered by the passing of the clock, and the change of the ages.

“I do apologise. The aged sparrow finds no comfort in the trees, as I find no comfort on the floor.”

He laid his own hands gently on his lap and closed his eyes. He was tired.

“Chen Gong is clever. It is good that Lu Bu had the insight to appoint me as his secretariat. Without such I doubt we would aspire to much. Chen Gong is ambitious, and his heart is clenched purely on revenge for the misdeeds Cao Cao performed back when they fled Dong Zhuo’s circle of power.”

He nodded his head at the word ‘Dong Zhuo’, as if to show whatever respect he could, and then continued through with his opinion.

“The problem is not with the cast, but with the principle. A thousand tigers perched beneath a far more dominant tiger does not amass to greatness. Lu Bu must see more than strength, and he must utilise more than just his trusty steed or Halberd to bring victory upon his kingdom. I only hope I, in my fragile state – can live long enough to offer sound advice and stratagem...but then, I know that should I even pass, the kingdom is safe so long as you remain.”

He thought back to the woman’s history, and the tale she had spoken. Although unfortunate, she had experienced enough to be able to see from one thing to another, and he hoped that with time – she would grow and learn from those past deeds.

“In time, you will grow to be the first successful woman to help dominate a nation. But not through guile...but through mastery.”

He bowed his head and smiled, “I bow now for anticipation of your greatness, for surely one as literate and well versed as you will surpass an old man like me in regards to ability and skill. But I am not your opposition, that would be the chief advisor and your husband. You must remember loyalty and love are separate strings to a similar thread. Love your husband, but surpass him – bow to your lord, but know him and most of all – demand the respect of eager men.”

He again closed his eyes, and the body fell quiet. He felt tired, and he intended to open them before darkness and age crept upon him, and then he was gone. Asleep, lost in some perplex void of consciousness and phantasm. He thought he could see Dong Furen, shining brightly before Lu Bu – and then soar, but the image faltered, and whatever he saw was replaced with nothingness....

[Gong]

The compliments the Elder gave Furen was unknown and made a flush of red appear to her cheeks, the gentile movement of guarding her face as so many innocent woman were perceived as doing. Smiling the words continued and the advice duely noted, to rise above all else without causing harm to anyone; that shall be how she would conduct herself from no one. To more allies than foe, unlike her father the Matriarch would not gain influence through fear..not would she use her gender to make the advantage. 'But through mastery'. As most did, Zuo played down the abilities he had not being able to see his own wisdom for the social modesty was well-rooted. "You are indeed a wise being Elder Zuo, one that Lord Lu would cherish to have." Looking upon Zuo's aging frame, Furen became attached to him, perhaps wishing that he could have been the true father; instead of being followed by the ghosts of her own..it would be so much easier that way.

It still surprised her that Zuo's opinion of her was so high, never had it been so easy to speak of. Back in the Imperial Courts compliments such as these were forced for fear of causing Dong Zhuo's wrath upon them, not to treat the daughter with respect? Such an offence could lose not only one's post, but also the head upon their shoulders. How could she have believed such a life was good?.. 'In time, you will grow to be the first successful woman to help dominate a nation'...such strong words. Furen could not truely know whether there was any fruit in what the Elder spoke, could it become her fate? To rise above that of Concubine Diao? Indeed it was a possibility, but inevitable her influence could be overshadowed. However, when this time arises the Matriarch would be old enough and wise enough to deal with that certain situation..better than she could currently. "One day, Elder Zuo..perhaps. I only hope that the Heavens allow me to continue my work."

The day Furen redeemed not only her name, but also the respect of her family would be the time she could finally rest peacefully. The next time for her spirit to settle, was see that Lord Lu, the man she viewed as a Brother, would be placed on the Dragon Throne..secure and happy, finally to make peace with his own demons. But such thoughts could not be continued as Furen noticed Zuo beginning to give into the ways of old, watching him closely..he fell asleep. Turning to the window, Furen had the two attendants bring tea for the two to share with her own cups from the past she refused to let go. A breath was taken, the Matriarch looked to the sky and then back at Zuo who seemed sound asleep..or was he?.. So much talk of passing, could this have been the time for him? To tell his own story to someone so fair and with similar history, perhaps it could have been the reason; to aid the fledgeling Kingdom to take its first step, reveal the mystery of his own being and to help another being for the last time. Returning her gaze out of the window, Furen closed her eyes only hoping that the Elder had not taken his steps into the Nether Realm..there was something they shared and now being torn away. Yet, she did not feel sorrow..she knew within that if he was not merely sleeping, she would use her own wealth to grant him the funeral that his son could not provide. Nor the funeral, the Matriarch could provide for her own father; thus, granting him to be remembered for good deeds...to erase the past that he had found himself shamed by..

As the maids arrived with the tea, they gently placed the small table in the middle of were Furen and Zuo were sitting. They could not tell whether it was slumber or passing, but did not wish to speak out of place. The silence resonated and gently the Matriarch returned to the cushion she had moved for herself and looked upon the pot of tea, her father's..everything was her father's, fortunately they had managed to save many articles of his before the evidence was destroyed. It left no hurt, or pain, but now happiness..happiness to the future that she could create through the wealth and influence of her own father, not to forget the care of her mother. "Elder Zuo, honour me to share some tea with me. It is from the North, I only hope it is to your satisfactory.." Words so soft, the silken tones left her lips as Furen began to pour the warm liquid into both cups; starting with his, before moving to fill hers. "You have walked so far and cared for so many, allow this time to take peace allowing someone else to finally care for you."

Slowly moving the table to the side, Furen knelt before the Elder and observed his feet; slowly, as not to disturb, she uncrossed his legs and spread them straight infront of him. Though head of the family, she knew how to care for her elders and would occassionaly perform this act for her father before his slumber. Softly the Matriarch began to massage Zuo's feet through the material shoes he wore, to relax the aging feet so warn from the life he had lead. As a daughter would her father, the feelings of the past came back and it soothed the suffering heart.. Furen had only wished that she could bring comfort to her father once more, just for a short time that they could share; not only to find out the truth, but to have the memory of such comfort forever in her mind... If Zuo was truely in slumber, then Furen hoped he would find comfort in the massage and if he had passed, then the softening of his feet would allow him peace within the Nether Realm...

[Wei Guozhi]

When the elder finally arose from the epitome of his slumber - Mistress Dong Furen, and her host of servants, had left. The room that he had been sitting in now seemed distant, as if an aura of some unknown origin had yet to come and go from between the walls. He assumed Dong Furen had forgotten about him, as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the new dark. But it would not come, and it was then that he realised the sudden change in atmosphere.

It was not the room he was in previously, nor, had he just realised – had Dong Furen left him. From the glimpse of his eye he could see her needless handiwork, fingers and thumb all co-ordinating promptly to release the furrows of his aging feet. But opposite her, stood his wife, a woman he had known to be dead for over 20 years, he had even seen her die – a sword right through the flap of the neck.

Gazing between the two apparitions, elder Zuo found himself siding with his wife, before her angelic voice washed over him like an open tide on a stormy day.

“Come, my love.”

Those words. He had heard words similar, but never from his wife. He spat a curse at the demon, turned to Dong Furen and hurried to her side.

“It is not my time to be destroyed by demons.”

As the light beckoned him closer, ans the screech of his wife peeked from behind. He thought back to his son, his old tutor, Zuli, and his wife. He was never one to dwell on the past – but the moment brought them to him, and the thought of his wife quickly turned to Dong Furen. Recently, it seemed that woman was the tip to all thoughts.

“I’d be honoured.”

He could finally see the woman between half closed eyes, and his voice – although croaked, parted through his chapped lips.

“Inspiriation, aspiration, conclusion.....they are all words are they not?”

He took his time with the tea, sipping it in gentle phases as he adjusted to the candle-lights flicker around him. His eyes seemed accustomed to a gloomier nature, and he thought back to his dream.

“I cannot leave without the achievement of such.....useless words.”

He beckoned the servants over, so that he could grab a refill – before turning himself into a more comfortable position. Hids feet ached, and the massage started to rub away the gentle flakes of his heel, and he pulled them back in pain.

“I am crumbling.” He said with a smile, “Best not shed me too much.”

He bowed anyway, showing respect, and took to another cup of the tea, it was good tea.

“You are still young. You will have time to achieve what you can. You know, there is a saying.”

He placed the cup on the floor, unwrapped the cushion he was on, removed his robes and then placed his hands gently in his lap.

“Some are born with greatness, whilst others – have greatness thrust unto them. I believe you will have it given to you, in time – and when you realise your true ambitions, and the burning inferno in which to accomplish it....then I believe you’ll soar to a much greater place than the shallows of the pits you wander aimlessly in now.”